Anne Coleman considers herself to be “body positive,” part of a social movement that accepts different body shapes and sizes. She takes pride in her appearance and has attended size acceptance events like the Curvy Con, an annual convention celebrating plus-size brands and individuals, and an early screening of “Fattitude”, a film about weight stigma.

And yet Coleman, who weighs more than 200 pounds, would like to weigh less. She doesn’t want to be “skinny”. Just able to move around more easily.

“I want to walk a certain distance without getting out of breath,” said Coleman, 32, who works in attorney recruiting at a Manhattan law firm. “I want to walk around New York in the summer without sweating to death. I’d like to climb Machu Picchu.”

It’s an issue she regularly wrestles with. As someone who supports size acceptance – the rights of all people to not be judged for weighing as much or as little as they want – Coleman wonders: Is it OK to rail against fat discrimination but still want to lose weight? Or does that make her part of the problem? “I’ve had people question whether I truly love myself if I want to be thinner,” she said.

Her feelings are similar to those expressed by the author Roxane Gay, who once weighed 577 pounds and has discussed her own ambivalence about weight loss. “I worried that people would think I betrayed fat positivity, something I do very much believe in, even if I can’t always believe in it for myself,” she wrote in a 2018 essay on Medium, after admitting that she had undergone weight loss surgery. “I worried that everyone who responded so generously to my memoir, Hunger, would feel betrayed. I worried I would be seen as betraying myself.”

The core argument of the body positivity movement is that intentional weight loss doesn’t work and, in fact, causes more harm than good. In an effort to try to attain some impossible standard of beauty, the thinking goes, people end up with lasting emotional and physical damage that sabotages any efforts to lose weight and could even cause early death.

Studies back this up: Most weight-loss efforts are ineffective in the long term and can lead to weight cycling, a risk factor for hypertension and diabetes, among other health problems. According to a 2015 report in the American Journal of Public Health, the probability of an obese person ever attaining a normal body weight is low; most people who do lose weight gain it back within five years.

And though many appreciate the work of larger-bodied celebrities like Lizzo, Chrissy Metz and Joy Nash, size discrimination is very much alive. Piers Morgan, for example, slammed Cosmopolitan UK for featuring the plus-size model Tess Holliday on its cover. “Apparently we’re supposed to view it as a ‘huge step forward for body positivity’” he wrote on Instagram in 2018. “What a load of old baloney.”

Last year, on Real Time With Bill Maher, Maher said that “Fat shaming doesn’t need to end, it needs to make a comeback.”

Fat shaming is also playing out during the global COVID-19 pandemic. Recent studies have linked obesity to an increased risk of complications from coronavirus. These findings, size activists argue, only exacerbate the vitriol they already feel, especially by the medical establishment.

“Fat people have faced tremendous stigma from doctors and tend to not seek medical attention until their illnesses is more advanced,” said Ragen Chastain, 43, a fat activist in Los Angeles who blogs at Dances With Fat. She said that in addition to sheltering in place to protect others, “the fat people I know have been strictly observing quarantine because of a fear that we will experience weight stigma if we do need medical care.”

Deb Burgard, the co-founder of Health at Every Size, an online community that promotes weight neutrality, agrees. “People wouldn’t try to lose weight if the world didn’t conspire to make them feel so terrible about being fat,” she said.

But the tension among fat-shamers and fat-accepters can be wrenching for the swath of people who are overweight and trying to figure out whether they need to strive for self-acceptance or start another diet.

“I kind of feel stuck between people bashing me for having obesity and telling me I should lose weight, and the other half that says you should love yourself and that means you shouldn’t lose weight,” said Sarah Bramblette, 42, of Miami. “I’m bad for wanting to lose weight, and I’m bad for not losing weight.”

Bramblette, who weighs nearly 500 pounds, had gastric bypass surgery in 2003, and a second procedure in 2010. She lost about 250 pounds after the operations, but had medical complications and gained it back. Bramblette, a spokeswoman for the non-profit Obesity Action Coalition, said she can’t deny that her excess weight is hard on her body and contributes to illness.

A 2013 study from Columbia University found that obesity contributes to nearly 1 in every 5 deaths among Americans between ages 40 and 85. And the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention links obesity with heart disease, stroke, Type 2 diabetes and some cancers.

“The tricky thing is that the people who advocate ‘health at every size’ are sort of assuming that people who are overweight don’t have any health issues,” said Katie Rickel, a clinical psychologist and the chief executive of Structure House, a psychologically oriented residential weight facility in Durham, North Carolina. “The vast majority of our folks have diagnosable health conditions that would be corrected with weight loss.”

Doctors and nutritionists are grappling with the best treatment methods. But their approaches vary. At Structure House, “we take the stance that it’s negligent to not address that and not to honour people’s real desire to get to a healthier weight,” said Rickel.

Then there are “anti-diet” nutritionists who refuse to weigh patients and don’t keep scales in their offices. Instead, they tell clients, many of whom struggle with overeating or binge eating disorder, that weight loss might occur as a result of healthier eating and improved self-care, but that it shouldn’t be the goal.

Dana Sturtevant, a nutrition therapist in Portland, Oregon, said that she does not recommend weight loss for her clients. “I tell clients ‘You will gain weight, lose weight, or it will stay the same.’ Anyone who says they have a solution is lying and colluding with weight culture.”

Molly Carmel, 42, understands the conflict between wanting to be thinner and wanting to rebel against cultural norms. At her heaviest, she weighed 350. She lost 170 pounds from “gastric bypass surgery and bulimia,” as she put it. Then she founded The Beacon Program, an eating disorder center in Manhattan.

While she does weigh clients, she doesn’t let them see the number. “I’m not saying to get into this skinny mini body,” said Carmel, author of Breaking Up With Sugar. “But when you’re eating in a way that’s supporting a really heavy body, it’s arguable that that’s self-love. When I weighed 325 pounds, I couldn’t get into the shower. My underwear stopped fitting. That girl deserves to release weight if she wants to, culture or no culture.”

In her essay, Gay put it this way: “I had to face the extent of my unhappiness and how much of that unhappiness was connected to my body,” she wrote. “I had to accept that I could change my fat body faster than this culture will change how it views, treats and accommodates fat bodies.”

By Abby Ellin © The New York Times

At a time when we are all experiencing an extraordinary level of stress, science offers a simple and effective way to bolster our own emotional health.

To help yourself, start by helping others.

Much of the scientific research on resilience – which is our ability to bounce back from adversity – has shown that having a sense of purpose, and giving support to others, has a significant impact on our well-being.

“There is a lot of evidence that one of the best anti-anxiety medications available is generosity,” said Adam Grant, an organizational psychologist at Wharton and author of Give and Take: A Revolutionary Approach to Success. “The great thing about showing up for other people is that it doesn’t have to cost a whole lot or anything at all, and it ends up being beneficial to the giver.”

Our bodies and minds benefit in a variety of ways when we help others. Some research has focused on the “helper’s high.” Studies show that volunteering, donating money, or even just thinking about donating money can release feel-good brain chemicals and activate the part of the brain stimulated by the pleasures of food and sex. Studies of volunteers show that do-gooders had lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol on days they did volunteer work.

There is a lot of evidence that one of the best anti-anxiety medications available is generosity.

The challenge many of us are facing today is how to give support from a distance. Rules that require us to be physically apart during the pandemic mean that our traditional ways of volunteering in person are no longer possible. The good news is that the type of support that can be helpful to both giver and receiver can be given in a variety of small and big ways. It can include giving money or time to a cause. Or it can be as simple as a phone call, giving advice or just lending a listening ear.

READ: COVID-19: Feeling down? Anxious? Hostile? A 4-day-a-week exercise regimen may help

In fact, the act of giving advice has been shown to be more beneficial than receiving it. In a series of studies of 2,274 people, researchers from the University of Pennsylvania and the University of Chicago found that after middle-school students mentored younger students about studying, they ended up spending more time on their own homework. Overweight people who counselled others on weight loss were more motivated to lose weight themselves.

Grant said we often are better at giving advice to people other than ourselves. “One of the best things you can do is call someone else facing a similar problem and talk them through it,” said Grant, who co-founded an online networking platform called Givitas, which connects people for the purpose of asking for and giving support and advice. “When you talk other people through their problems, you come up with wiser perspectives and solutions for yourself.”

Feeling responsible for other people also can help us cope with whatever challenges life brings. Emily A. Greenfield, an associate professor of social work at Rutgers University, studied a concept called “felt obligation,” which is measured by asking people questions such as how obligated they would feel to give money to a friend in need, even if it meant putting themselves in a bind. Greenfield analyzed data collected from 849 participants in an ongoing study of health and well-being, that asked about felt obligation as well as health-related declines they experienced over time, such as problems carrying groceries or walking a block.

As it turned out, the people who had higher levels of felt obligation – meaning they were the type of people to sacrifice for others – coped better with their own life challenges.

READ: How to manage coronavirus-related stress eating (or not eating)

“These findings fit with the idea that an orientation to helping others is a protective factor – something that is especially important for well-being when confronted with distressing life circumstances,” Greenfield said.

She noted that caring for others helps us to regulate our own emotions and gain a sense of control. “When we remind a friend that social distancing measures are temporary, and this too shall pass, we are also, in effect, reminding ourselves and serving to regulate our own emotions,” she said.

Several studies suggest that supporting others helps buffer our bodies against the detrimental effects of stress. A five-year study of 846 people in Detroit found that stressful life events appeared to take a greater toll on people who were less helpful to others, while helping others seemed to erase the detrimental physical effects of stressful experiences.

Studies show that having a strong sense of purpose protects us from stress in the short term and predicts long-term better health, a lower risk of dying prematurely and even better financial health.

“Small acts are important,” said Dr. Steven Southwick, professor emeritus of psychiatry at Yale University School of Medicine and co-author of Resilience: The Science of Mastering Life’s Greatest Challenges. “Part of that might have to do with just getting outside of myself, and finding meaning and purpose in something bigger than myself.”

Studies show that having a strong sense of purpose protects us from stress in the short term and predicts long-term better health, a lower risk of dying prematurely and even better financial health. Researchers say that finding meaning and purpose during social distancing may be especially important for high-school seniors and college students, who were on the cusp of discovering their purpose in life just as the coronavirus derailed graduations, internships and new jobs.

READ: COVID-19 news making you anxious? Heed these expert tips on how to stay calm

“Your purpose may be to help others in need, but it doesn’t have to be tackling big social structure issues,” said Patrick Hill, associate professor of psychological and brain sciences at Washington University in St. Louis. “It could be helping out your neighbor or just doing shopping for somebody. If your big picture goal is to help others in need, there are ways of doing that right now that may look different than how you used to do them.”

By Tara Parker-Pope © The New York Times

57 kilograms. I have always been conscious of my weight, even though my metabolism is good. Despite my busy schedule, I make sure that I exercise four times a week. I sometimes go on a diet. While there’s a story on why I’m committed to taking care of my body, sharing it has never crossed my mind, until now.

46 kilograms. “Bakit ang taba mo?”

Those were the words that broke the ice between my first love and me in high school. I unconsciously took them to heart. Because we like the same kind of humor, we immediately became friends. I helped him with English and Math, and he helped me copy notes in view of my terrible eyesight. Because of how close we were, people thought there’s something between us. To be honest, I don’t know when I started falling in love with him. But the words, “Bakit ang taba mo,” became my reminder to do something.

“Ang type niyang mga babae: maputi, mahaba ang buhok at sexy,” a friend said when I admitted my feelings.

I told myself that I have to become his ideal girl so he would love me back. Although I always exercise, that suddenly became not enough for me. I started losing weight by eating a quarter cup of rice and more vegetables. I ditched the snacks and sweets. I also exercised for longer periods of time. Before sleeping, I weighed myself to check my progress.

44 kilograms. “Ang taba taba, ang cute cute,” he said while playing with my left arm during class. I became desperate to lose more weight. Consequently, I started getting more hungry as well. I broke classroom rules by sneaking food in the pockets of my uniform after recess and lunch breaks.

“Ang takaw mo naman. Joke lang,” he said when he saw me eating one time. I panicked about being caught by him. I started controlling my hunger since that day. Every day after school, I ate several sticks of kwek kwek and garlic rice. Since I ate a lot after school, I would go home feeling guilty.

One day, he started avoiding me. I didn’t know why. Soon, I discovered that I can use my two fingers to hit the back of my throat, to vomit every meal I ate. That way, I can return to my normal appetite. I did this two times a day.

40 kilograms. Using my two fingers to induce vomits was effective. I vomited in the bathroom. As my vomiting became frequent, my classmates thought I was pregnant. But I didn’t care. I forced out every meal I ate. But I wasn’t contented. To monitor the results, I weighed myself two times a day. Whenever my friends invited me out, I rejected them, saying that I was on a diet. My obsession to prove that I wasn’t fat didn’t stop there. I also skipped breakfast or lunch, just to shed excess weight. I began to weaken but I continued my routine.

33 kilograms. I thought he’ll talk to me again, and love me back. But he didn’t. I found out that he’s pursuing someone else. After I watched them cross the street, I bought a bucket of fried chicken to comfort myself. But the effects of my sudden weight loss took effect. I suddenly collapsed when I arrived home and had to be absent for a week. During my absence, I had no choice but to eat. It was only when mother cooked my favorite pancit canton that I returned to my usual appetite.

One day, my mother noted how much weight I lost. I burst into tears while fighting off a fever. During my checkup sometime later, I was asked to take a series of tests and to return for the results.

Kilograms unknown. My fear of the results caused me to halt my attempts in losing weight. I’ve also stopped weighing since my collapse, and I returned to my normal appetite. Although rumors of my supposed pregnancy have died down, there were people who asked me if I intentionally made myself sick to get his attention. However, I didn’t have the time to clear my name since I had to represent the school for a regional press contest.

Bulimia nervosa. I was notified of the results a few weeks before the competition. I was recommended to visit a psychiatrist after. During my first visit, she asked me how much I weigh. I didn’t respond since I haven’t been weighing myself for more than two weeks. She then asked me to step on the weighing scale.

44 kilograms. I panicked. The psychiatrist then said that I gained weight because I haven’t been exercising. I answered by asking her what she thought about my weight. She said fat, then she explained that bulimia is an eating disorder caused by self-induced vomiting to compensate for binge eating. She didn’t prescribe any medication, but she assured me that we’ll work through cognitive behavioral therapy together. She then asked me to make a list of the food I normally eat, for the next session. As my therapy sessions went on, I didn’t realize that I haven’t been paying much attention to him anymore. However, I still felt the pain when I saw him wooing his lady love. To forget the pain, I instead focused on the contest and on studying well.

A few weeks before graduation, I was announced as one of the students who graduated with special awards. He congratulated me while his friends cheered. Why is he giving me attention again? Even when I was curious about the reason, I didn’t have the energy anymore to think further about it. We soon graduated from high school and went to separate universities.

48 kilograms. “Do things for yourself and not for the pleasure of others.” Those were my psychiatrist’s words in our last session, during my freshman year in college.

I’m grateful that I didn’t suffer from extreme conditions which would have required me to be confined. As I went through college, there were still moments when I hated myself for being fat. I felt so bad that I took drastic measures just to make him love me back. Nevertheless, the experience gave me a lesson: I deserve better.

57 kilograms. It took me quite a while to accept that despite how quick my metabolism is, I’m quite big-boned, which makes my physique appear bigger. I also realized that the right person for me wouldn’t force me to change myself. I started to appreciate my fondness for food. More importantly, I’ve realized that no man is worth losing weight for. Like what my psychiatrist said, I have to take care of my body for my own well-being and not for someone else.

Now, whenever I feel conscious of how fat I am, I remind myself of how beautiful I am. Beautiful, all 57 kilograms of me, and more.

_

Hannah Mallorca studied literature and creative writing at De La Salle University. She enjoys reading, taking walks and listening to music. Her favorite dishes include mostly anything with green leafy vegetables. She also likes noodles and fried treats. When not writing, she makes artworks using her calligraphy skills.

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DANI Dyer says she has lost a stone since giving birth to her first child – but insists she’s “still got a long way to go”.

The Love Island star, 24, became a mum to a baby boy called Santiago just five weeks ago.

When quizzed by a fan about losing her pregnancy weight, Dani said she’s already knocked off 14lbs.

But she’s in no rush to lose weight – and is instead focusing on her newborn.

“I’ve lost a stone!”, said Dani.

“But I’ve got a long way to go. It’s horrible when none of your clothes fit.

“I’m literally living in loungewear haha.

“But it’s all worth it – I have my beautiful boy.

“I am trying to eat more healthy just so I do feel better in myself. But I’m not stressing too much about the weight.

“Being a mum is a full time job. My body can wait.”

Dani gave birth on January 23 to seven-pound Santiago.

Ever since she’s been sharing her motherhood journey with fans on Instagram.

Celebrating her baby son turning one-month-old , Dani said last week: “We are in a complete baby bubble and enjoying every moment, can not believe he is ours, completely in love and so grateful to be his mummy..

“Sending all my love to all the other mommas to be out there in lockdown.. the best experience ever will never forget this day.”

TOWIE’S Danielle Armstrong has showed off her toned tum nine months after giving birth to daughter Orla Mae.

The 32-year-old stripped down to her black Calvin Klein underwear for the before and after transformation snaps.

She gave fans a look at her figure from both the front and back to show just how much she’s changed.

“How has it been 9 months,” wrote Danielle.

“I just wanted to share my transformation with you all because I feel quite proud.

“I always say it ‘If it takes us 9 months to grow a baby it’s going to take us at least 9 months to get our body back.

“I’ve loved documenting my transformation and I would love to help anyone not just mums wanting to feel healthier and body confident.”

Not long after giving birth, Danielle opened up about how cruel troll comments had affected her.

She told The Sun last year: “I’ve never been massively affected by trolls, but that time I had a proper cry.

“I mean, how sad that someone felt the need to do that? I’m not usually one to read those messages and let them ruin my day, but in that moment I felt really rubbish and then I looked at myself and thought: ‘God, I am big’.

“Those words have an impact. It was horrible and it broke me for a little while. I went from being overjoyed about having my baby girl and everything I’d ever wanted, to suddenly feeling really insecure. That’s not right.”

The reality star vowed to lose her baby weight healthily, and that’s exactly what she’s done.

Home workouts, a simple nutrition plan and a Herbalife 21-day challenge have all helped her achieve her goal.